With Two Hands, Baby! (for JustMe)

(This picture has absolutely nothing to do with the post, I just think it's cute)


So one of the earliest signs of a developmental delay like Asperger's is an absence of pointing, or pointing with something other than your index finger. At Keaton's 2 year checkup the doctor asked if he pointed and when I said, "No. Does that matter?" she stopped writing and told me it was a marker for a variety of problems, and then proceeded to run down another list of behaviors I should be watching for. We all know how that turned out.

Anyway.

Keaton did eventually start pointing.......with his middle fingers. For a couple of years, every time he would point with his "tall man" I would just acknowledge whatever he was showing me by saying, "Oh yes! I see _____!" and use my index finger to show him the appropriate way to point.

Do you think he caught on? No. No he didn't. And as he got older and was hanging around with older kids it started to concern me a little more that he might be taken the wrong way if we didn't teach him the right finger to point with. So I started saying, "Keaton, when we point, we use THIS finger. It's even CALLED your pointer! Isn't that cool?" And he would fumble around awkwardly, trying to command his middles down and his pointers up.

Still, no dice. No spontaneous, un-coached dice anyway. Again and again his middle fingers were pointed: at people, at books, at signs. Did I mention at people?

So this summer after he had pointed again using his middle finger I finally sat him down and had the following conversation:

Me: "Keaton, when you point, you really need to use a different finger. This one is your pointer, and it's the best one for pointing."

Keaton: "Why?"

Me: "It just has the right name."

Keaton: "Why can't I use THIS one? (flipping me off)"

Me: (sigh) "Because that one means something very rude, Keaton. And if you point with that finger, people think you are saying something very mean."

Keaton: "What do they think I'm saying when I do this? (flips me off again)

Me: "They think you are very angry at them. And you don't want people to think you are angry, right? You don't want to hurt feelings."

Keaton (looking confused and staring at his outstretched middle finger again): "This means I'm angry?"

Me: "Yep. So let's try to remember to use the POINTER finger to point so we don't hurt feelings, okay?"

Keaton: "Okay Mom!"

He ran off and I kept my own fingers crossed that my explanation would help him remember why I was always talking to him about his.

Fast forward to that very same evening after dinner when Boone decided to watch a basketball game:

(**side note -- Boone loves sports. I mean LOVES sports. But he almost never watches games because he is too busy being productive. So when he DOES decide that something is worth watching I always encourage it and usually watch with him. I just wanted to clarify that it is rare for him to commandeer the remote and pick what he wants. Moving on... **)

Keaton: "Daaaaddd! I want to watch Spiderman!"

Boone: "Sorry bud, I'm going to watch basketball tonight."

Keaton: "DAAADD! I said I want Spiderman! Let me watch Spiderman!"

Me: "Keaton, you've watched Spiderman already. It's Dad's turn and he's watching basketball. Why don't you watch with Daddy?"

Keaton was fuming at this point -- probably dancing around like he does when he gets really agitated and starts to melt down -- when suddenly he stopped what he was doing, gained total control of himself, marched right up to the tv, and threw up both middle fingers in front of the screen.

Keaton: "I do this at you Dad, because I AM ANGRY AT YOU! I'M SHOWING YOU MY MIDDLE FINGERS!"

Hysterical laughing from both parents ensued and Keaton, satisfied with his result, went into the other room to color.

Keaton: 3,217 Parents: 0

My Favorite Part of Sunday

I fell off the bloggy wagon again, I know. I got through 2 whole posts before I blew it this time, so maybe I can make it through 3 before I quit the next time.

Anyway, I just thought I should share the best part of my day today, and I am going to do it in my favorite format for kid tattling:

(Ahem)

Once upon a time, there was a 30-something mommy sitting in a bench at church. This particular bench happened to be close to the front of the chapel, but it was better than sitting in the chairs towards the back (because you lose the kid-corralling effect, duh). In front of the mommy sat the bishop's wife and the missionaries. Next to her in the same bench sat the EQ President and his family. Sitting on the stand a mere 3 rows away were the Bishop, the Stake President, and the Area Authority Seventy (pretty much all the leadership for our area for those who aren't LDS).

The mommy was trying to convince all 3 kids to chill the freak out while Boone was in the foyer phoning in a prescription for a patient who was swelling up like a balloon, and thought she had finally calmed them down enough to have a few quiets minutes of reflection while the sacrament (like communion, kind of) was being passed.

Prince Keaton had other plans.

He leaned over, quietly at first, to inform the mommy that he had no intention of eating the bread. He was in a rather foul mood all morning, and the mommy was smart enough not to battle over this one and replied simply, "Well, that's your choice."

Just as the mommy was congratulating herself on not being ruffled by Prince Keaton, a small finger made it's way into her field of vision.

That small finger had the largest, grossest booger of all time stuck to the end of it. It looked like a small slug, to be honest.

The mommy frantically reached down into The Church Bag (believe me, it deserves to be capitalized) to find a tissue to confiscate the slug booger, decided a dried out wipe crammed into a pocket was good enough, and grabbed Prince Keaton's offending finger to clean it up.

To which he responded, in the loudest voice possible (during the quietest part of the meeting),

"NO! STOP! LET ME CHOOSE THE WRONG! I WANT TO CHOOSE THE WRONG! LEAVE MY BOOGER ALONE!"

In front of the mommy -- laughing. Behind the mommy, laughing. To the right of the mommy -- HYSTERICAL laughing. Actual mommy -- not laughing.

Prince Keaton should have known better not to mess with the mommy, because the mommy is way bigger than him and was able to retrieve Booger Slug soon thereafter and foil his plan.

Until the part where he got mad about being robbed of his nostril treasure and started screaming,

"FINE! I AM TAKING OFF ALL OF MY CLOTHES!!! I WANT TO BE NAKED! I'M GETTING NAKED AT CHURCH!"

At which point the mommy nearly knocked over the people in the aisles rushing to get Evil Prince Keaton out of the building.

The mommy found the daddy in the foyer, chucked Prince Keaton towards him, and waited a few minutes to cool off before going back into the chapel to a room full of people with the biggest smiles you have ever seen.

So glad we could provide the entertainment. You're welcome, Grandview Ward.

The End of the School Year (As We Know It)... And Some Random Stuff Too

Okay, so before we put the fence all the way back up our kids loved to wander back into the wooded area behind our property line and "have adventures". There was a little creek back there and they spent hours building log bridges, walking along the trails Boone cleared with a machete, organizing rocks into circle shapes to pee into...you know, typical kid stuff.

Well one day Rylan came running up the hill into the house asking for a jar because she found "a lobster" in the creek and she wanted to catch it. I had no idea what she was talking about, but I handed her a canning jar and went back to whatever productive thing I'm sure I was doing.

10 minutes later she comes back up grinning from ear to ear, grabs a bigger bucket, and proceeds to make a habitat (totally normal) for this:



She freaking caught a crawfish in our little creek! How hickish is that? She was so proud of herself and her brothers thought it was about the coolest thing they had ever seen, especially when they bumped the bucket and the thing swam backwards at breakneck speed.


She decided that "Shrimpy" simply had to make a visit to the classroom the next day at school or nobody would believe her. We gave her the go-ahead, but sadly, Shrimpy kicked the bucket about 2 hours later. I threw his little crawfish corpse back into the canning jar and filled it with clean water so Rylan could decide what to do in the morning. She cried when she saw that he'd crossed over and felt really guilty about it, but decided a dead crawfish was still cool enough to take to school.

When she came home that day, she reported that Dead Show and Tell was a smashing success, but determined that it was time to give Shrimpy a proper burial. So she dug a little grave, buried the crustacean, and made a popsicle stick headstone that read "RIP Shrimpy". I swear I took pictures of the creek and of the cemetery, but I can't find them anywhere, so you'll just have to imagine it for yourselves.

Continuing on with our weird animal post...

At the end of the year the whole kindergarten class loaded up on buses for a field trip to the Riverbanks Zoo in Columbia, S.C. Boone was already on terminal leave and had the rare chance to do something during the school day, so both of us volunteered to chaperon the trip. We drug Branik along too, because what else were we going to do with him? Plus, we kind of like him.

Anyhow, when we got there we were told that so many parents had volunteered that we were in charge of 2 whole kids: Keaton and Hudson. And Branik. So our little group headed to the gate to start our day and Hudson told us he needed to gear up before heading in. You know, for safety's sake:



I cracked up when I saw him dig these bad boys out of his pocket and sport them for the next several hours. Apparently Chrysta had no idea he'd stashed them in his jacket, but it made for a great picture that I'm certain will make an appearance in a wedding video 20 years from now;)

It continued to be a cool zoo trip. We walked to the first exhibit to witness the bears literally fighting with each other instead of just laying there like they usually do. Awesome. Also watched/listened to the monkeys freak out for awhile, and as we approached the tortoise we saw this:



What tortoise does that? Seriously, it was acting like some weird dog and stayed there, neck extended, begging to be touched by kids, for like 15 minutes. All 3 boys took turns scratching it and we made it out just before the zookeepers headed over to stop the madness. Good thing Hudson had his goggles on.

A few days after that the older kids had their Field Day, and I have to admit that Cedar Ridge really did throw a good party for those kids. I remember Field Day as being 3 legged races and egg carrying on a spoon and 100 meter dashes.

Not the case in Georgia.

Awww yeah. That's the fire truck back there, spraying the kids down next to the inflatable water slide, while other kids rotate through the tug of war/other field games. I took this picture of Rylan from about 100 feet away with my little point and shoot camera, but you get the idea:

And here you can see how Keaton hated Field Day.

Branik had a water day at his preschool too, but I didn't get any pictures of it, so his little graduation will have to do. We had all 3 kids at Trinity Baptist Preschool for a year and they all loved it. It's also the place Keaton seems to have picked up his occasional twang, but we forgive them for that.

Here is Branik with Cannon on graduation day, wearing the traditional foam visor instead of some stupid cap and gown:

And here he is with his teachers -- Ms. Ellen...

...and Ms. Ann...


He liked them both, but I think he had a special attachment to Ms. Ann. Look at how he's eyeballing her? I love his face off in this picture.

Which brings us to the last week of elementary school (I am remembering now why I am so, SO behind -- because I was EXHAUSTED from running around to all of these events in between loads of fill dirt and paint trays!)

Here's a terrible photograph of Keaton during his kindergarten program:

And here he is afterward with Miss Hall, looking guilty about something:


And here are my two big kids on their last day of school in Georgia:

That day I had to go to the kindergarten BBQ in the morning and the 2nd grade dance party in the afternoon. It down-poured at the picnic which meant that I got to go home and re-dry my hair before dashing back to the school. If you know anything about me you know that I HAAATTE doing my hair. HATE. IT. So this was an especially rotten day for me. But I got these pictures which almost made it worth the hassle...


That's Keaton with his friend Rachael. I want to explode from the cuteness.

Also cute? Rylan doing the macarena:


Last but not least, here she is with her teacher, Mrs. Johnson. That lady could shake it on the dance floor! I'm pretty sure she organized the party for her own sake.


And that, as they say, is that.

Goodbye Georgia schools! I can't say that I'll miss you, but at least nobody died.

Let's Go Wayyy Back

Okay, so before I can talk about Colorado, or getting to Colorado, or my sister's wedding, or the family reunion, or the sisters reunion, or the actual move, or the birthdays that have transpired, I am going to go back to preparing to leave Georgia.

Which involved mountains of soil, buckets of paint, and loads of caffeine.

Remember that one time in 2009 when I mentioned our back yard expansion? And how we started it? And then remember the part where my leg broke and then I had surgery and then it was too hot so we quit working on it?

Yeah, so it turns out we had to finish what we had started, but after nearly a year of neglect we had to rent another Bobcat to re-clear/grade the new area. Just the type of major project you want to do when facing several stressful months, but whatever.

I should have snapped some better "before" pics, but I didn't. Here it was after the first sections of fence came down (in 2009):



And there was our first load of fill dirt, also 2009:



And here is Perry driving like a psycho in what was about to become the new section of yard:


...and then continuing his psychoness (not a word) with a machete:


To be fair, Boone had plenty of psycho moments (hours) between the two rentals and most of the month of May, I just don't have photographic proof. But here he is manning it up in the bobcat:



Seriously, the testosterone level in that back yard was through the roof. Those two were so pleased with themselves at the end of Day 1 that they could hardly stand it. So they sat (hahaha):



Just to give you an idea, you can see where the fence ends on the right side of the picture, so you can sort of gauge how much area we cleared to expand the yard.

Fast forward to 2010 when our backs were against the wall and we had to finish it, and here it was re-graded and cleared with the fence up. I'd like to add that I hand nailed about 40 linear feet of fence all by my little self. Nail guns are for pansies. Also, smart people.



And then we laid sod. And we saw the sod, that it was good. Enough. Amen.


Anyway, that's the yard. Moving on to the buckets of paint part...

So by the time we left the house, I had literally painted every single room in the house, some more than once. Painting the kitchen, the office, and the laundry room was a big pain, but painting the kids' rooms was really hard emotionally. Maybe because I had put so much time and effort into doing them the first time, and maybe because I felt like I was erasing the last 4 years and realizing how much they changed while we were in GA.

In any case, it was not fun to go from this:




...to this:




Or this...



..to this:



And really not fun to go from this:



...to this:



Alas, it had to be done to make our home "rent-able", and I think it's a nice neutral (but not totally boring) color. Yes? Yes.

Anyway, it just made me kind of sad to close this chapter in our lives, because I felt like I was closing down the "family with LITTLE kids" phase. Don't get me wrong, there are parts of that phase that suck royally, and I don't miss diapers and pregnancy and spit up and highchairs. But for whatever reason I was bummed to realize I was in a new category and I already wish I had done some things differently when my kids were all at home all day. But I suppose most parents feel that way when they look back, so I've tried not to beat myself up over it.

Especially when I look back at the totally wicked rooms they had;)

There were a few other repairs/maintenance issues that had to be dealt with before we left town, but these were the biggies and we were SO happy to be done with that house. It also made us really glad that we are renting the first 2 years here so that we don't have to think about yard expansions and paint and new toilet seats and garage door opener issues.

Wow. All that typing and I have you caught up to May. Almost. Still have end of school year stuff, which is not at all interesting to any of you, but I want to document it, sooooo...sorry. Feel free to skip the next post.

Peace out.

Brace Yourselves...

...because I am going to upload eleventy billion photos from this summer and blog my head off later tonight while Boone plays basketball.

Things in Colorado are fantastic and we are so, SO happy to be here. The area is wonderful, the schools are fantastic, we love our ward out here, the practice is going well -- honestly, I keep waiting for something to fall on our house because things feel so good right now. It confuses me, quite frankly.

Anyway, I'll try to recap the last 4 months later tonight. Wish me luck.

31 Reasons I'm Glad to be 31

1. It means I'm not dead yet!
2. I'm living in the place I most wanted to live (long term).
3. I like myself a lot more now than I did at 21.
4. I'm physically much healthier than I was at 21. Or 25. Or even 28.
5. This is the year I will run a marathon.
6. This is the year I moved within 90 seconds of a Super Target:)
7. My kids are old enough to take almost anywhere (theoretically, anyway).
8. I know much more about myself now and have discovered that I'm a much different person than I thought I was at 16 or 18 or even 20.
9. I've lived long enough and in enough places to recognize how amazing my friends are. I have them all over the country (and a few internationally!) and I didn't have that at 21.
10. Wow, it sounds like I hated being 21, huh?
11. I didn't -- it's just the easiest reference point.
12. I've seen all of my sisters get married to great guys and am finally close enough that I can play Favorite Aunt to all of my nieces and nephews.
13. This is the year we will finally FINALLY pay down debts from dental school.
14. I get to decide what I want to be when I grow up sometime this year. Because next year it's back to school for me!
15. By this point in my life, I have been through some seriously rough stuff. And I made it through, which has shown me that I'm stronger than I thought I was.
16. But back to my 20's -- a lot of good things happened, but there was a lot of getting fat and losing it just to get fat all over again.
17. I'm more comfortable just being myself now and don't feel as much pressure to be someone I'm not.
18. If life is divided up into trimesters like in pregnancy, isn't the second trimester always the most enjoyable? In that case, things are about to get really good.
19. Wow, 31 things is a much longer list than I thought.
20. Boone is not a student anymore.
21. Boone is not owned by the military anymore.
22. I get to watch my husband enjoy his work and witness the realization of his biggest career goal.
23. My family is much bigger than it was 10 years ago, and I really enjoy all the newbies (kids AND adults).
24. At this age people don't bother to do the math when they find out how long I've been married.
25. Which means they don't automatically wonder if I got pregnant and had a shotgun wedding.
26. I'm now 2/3 of the way to having a built-in babysitter!
27. I choose to ignore that this countdown is also accurate for the length of time I have until being the mother of a teenager.
28. I'm mostly in between the zit phase and the wrinkle phase (except for the monster brewing on my chin).
29. I'm old enough to realize that I won't always be this young, so I am more appreciative of the phase of life I am living.
30. I'm not 30 anymore. Most of the year that I was 30 was really stressful between surgeries, injuries, moves, etc.
31. I get to eat whatever I want today, because birthdays are guilt free!

Happy Birthday Nicole! You are way cooler than you used to be, and also too wiser, and more liberal, and not as poor as you were at 21, and a better wife, and a better mom (sometimes), and you eat tomatoes and onions and peppers and sushi like a real grown-up (and you LIKE these things!) Way to go!

Since Deb Asked...

So uh...hi. It's been what -- 2 months or something since I've written? Most of you know basically what has happened in that timeframe (a lot) but I may as well start trying to recap the summer as it has transpired thus far.

I've kind of been overwhelmed (in general) and didn't really know where to start, but then Deb sent me an email with eleventy billion questions and I thought, "You know, I should just answer those as my first blog post!"

So I'm doing that. I'll fill in the details with gobs of pictures soon, and by soon I mean maybe when school starts? Anyway, here's an appetizer, courtesy of Deb and her mad cooking skills:

So have you moved in to your new house or just have an address?

We've moved into a house that we'll be renting for 2 years. It's a gorgeous home that I can't get used to living in. The best way I can describe it is this: I don't recognize myself in this house. It's amazing and has 2 islands in the kitchen and a shower that we could set patio furniture in, and I feel like I don't belong here. Will update if that changes.

Find good doctors for Keaton?

Haven't even started that process, but honestly, there's not a lot of ongoing stuff he needs regular medical attention for. What he really needs is a good teacher in school, and we moved into the best school district in the state to give him (and Ry and Branik, too) the best shot possible.

What's the name of the practice going to be?

Elizabeth Family Dental! It was the name of the practice before Boone bought it, and he's keeping it because it comes up high on Google when you search "Elizabeth, CO" and "dentist". When we thought he was buying closer to the Denver metro, we were going to need a more distinctive name. But since he is in a rural area (about 40 miles southeast of Denver proper, and 25 miles from our house) he doesn't need anything too catchy.

Catchy name or not, he is SO happy with his decision to leave the army. It was an extremely stressful 3 months between first contact and closing, but it was so worth it. The practice is about 4 years old, has state of the art equipment, and a great staff. He started getting referrals from other patients the 3rd day he was in the office and is seeing 2-4 new patients a day. He plans to be pretty involved with the community out there and is already sponsoring the high school's foot ball team (he gets a banner to prove it!) As soon as he gets his website up and running I'll link it here so you can see the office and a picture of Boone with his staff.

Does your new house have a wonderful washer and dryer?

Same washer and dryer I had in Georgia, which is good enough for now. But after using family owned front loaders for a month this summer I don't know how long I'll hold out;)

Did you have the best time ever traveling all spring?

Great to see everyone, thrilled to be done living out of a suitcase. Wedding was fun and stressful, like weddings are. Slept in 13 locations in June, and 11 of those were in a 14 day period. Shoot me in the face. I still can't even look at those stupid air mattresses.

Keaton had a great birthday. I know this because when he talked to Boone's parents on the phone that night, he said, "Nana, can you see my heart? It is so happy because of this day!" I cannot even handle the cuteness. Know what else I can't handle from Keaton? Him dropping the F-bomb. Twice. During dinner with 2 of his grandmothers. Apparently he saw the word written out on a volcano video on YouTube. Fantastic! He has no idea what it means, of course, but I nearly choked when he blurted it out.

Family reunion was great and I caught up with cousins I hadn't seen in a decade. Ate a ton, exercised a very, very little. Gained about 7 pounds. Stayed up until 4:30 one night with my sisters and left my mom to tend all 8 grandkids until we stumbled out into the living room at 11:30 or so the next day. It was my favorite.

Kids are still not back on a schedule but that's what summer is about, right? Just tell me yes, because I'm too tired to fix it.

Have you heard about Bristol and Levi?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Sarah Palin and her whacked out family make me smile:)

Do you have floors suitable for your Bissel?

Some. I asked our landlord (who is also the builder) about using it on the hardwoods and he said no. So I have this hardwood floor cleaner for the kitchen, dining, entry and then I use the Bissel on the tile upstairs and in the laundry/mudroom. And we'll just go with the notion that I have actually plugged in the Bissel since I have been living here for 3 weeks now...

Have you fallen in love with Denver already?

Yep. Love it. Love the sunsets. Love the dry weather (except my heels look like the Grand Canyon, but whatever). Love the good shopping. Love the lack of McDonalds/fried chicken restaurants here. Love the trails and parks everywhere. LOVE LOVE LOVE that I live literally 90 seconds away from SUPER TARGET. Nothing. Else. Matters.

If you need an optometrist, Perry Umlauf just transferred from Pee-Yay to Denver and he was the president of our state optometric association and Matt's former optometrist. Maybe you could be his dental family, you know, if you have a practice name and all.

Thanks! Boone needs one, I suppose. One of these days I am going to make him get Lasik though.

Are there fabulous moms bringing you cupcakes to welcome you to the 'hood?

No cupcakes, but that's okay. Still hanging on to about 3 extra pounds from Bingefest 2010 (I can thank the stairs in the house for getting rid of the others). Honestly, our neighborhood is going to be pretty quiet I think. There are only 6 homes on the street and although 3 of us have kids, the other 2 are on vacation. They seem nice so far though. I'd like to be somewhere a little busier when we buy in a few years, but for now we'll be fine.

Do they all wear bras?

Yep.

Have you been Ugly yet?

Constantly. I hid in the house for the first 2 weeks because I didn't want to meet people for the first time being all gross and move-y, but then I made the mistake of going for a walk with the fam and I got busted in all my Ugliness by the whole neighborhood. All 11 of them. Oh well, better not to set unrealistic expectations, right?

Do they know about Purple Donkephants in Colorado?

I don't know if they know they are Purple Donkephants or not, but I think many people here would fit the bill. Except where Boone practices. It's rural. People have horses. And big trucks.

Do you have a nice or a crappy Walmart?

It's nice for Walmart, but with Supa Target so close I have to really, REALLY need something at Walmart for me to drive the extra 3 minutes to get there.

Is your computer plugged in so you can start blogging again ... privately, of course, to protect the innocent.

I think I've answered that question, and I am abandoning the private thing for now.

Thanks Deb for your questions! Maybe this will help me unclog the blog and get going with the gory details of May and June. If you have anything you are dying to know about just beg and plead and I will consider appeasing you.