When it rains it pours...pictures.

Okay, so here's the deal. I have been too overwhelmed by all of this to really post about it, so I am doing a picture dump with maybe a line or two of description. This is for the grandparents/aunts and uncles who are going through withdrawals. Everyone else can skip the bazillion Terry kid photos.

A few weeks ago Boone and I realized we didn't know where any of the kids were (scary!) but a few minutes later Boone quietly led me down the hall to see this:


Don't ask me what Ry is wearing, but they were all 3 having a tea party together.


Cheers! (Note the pile of green feathers in the background -- Rylan tore these off a feather boa to be used in the construction of cat toys and they ended up all over the house for weeks).

And apparently they hired Branik to be the entertainment. The whole thing was ridiculously cute, soaked carpet and all.

The first part of October Boone's sister Cilka came out to introduce us to her new baby Payton and the kids were smitten! Rylan was loving being the little mommy and she did a great job taking care of her littlest cousin for a week.

Keaton calls Cilka "my Cilka" and has always really loved her. It appears the feeling is mutual.

Here are some little mommy moments -- this makes me want to have another baby! Oh wait, no it doesn't -- it makes me want to buy Rylan a doll. Yep. Option #2. Hands down.

See, I TOLD you she was excited. This is my new trick to get Rylan to look more normal in pictures (yes, that's more normal) -- if I just tell her to smile she has started doing this weird posed face (thanks Boone) and I am unable to get what she really looks like day to day. This is better.

Branik was a little bit jealous but warmed up to Payton when he thought nobody was looking...

We had a really great visit and are so glad Cilka made the cross-country trip to spend time with our family!

This concludes our "around the house" portion of the visit/post.

Moving on to gutters and rural Georgia (read: FUN)...

So the boys were outside playing during the visit and Keaton decided he wanted to ride Rylan's bike while she couldn't protest (she was at school). He rode over to the side of the road and ended up high centered over a puddle. What he discovered (to his EXTREME delight) was that when he pedaled, the back tire sprayed water all over his back. He started laughing his head off, so of course Branik ran over (pantless because he just sat in mud) to see what was so funny. Yeah, he thought it was as great as Keaton did.

So those are my ghetto boys -- one on a princess back flinging mud water all over himself, and the other pantless behind him, and eventually drinking the water "fountain" style. I'm such a great mom that I grabbed the camera instead of stopping them.

Here's a close up of how drenched Branik got -- he had dirt in his hair and ears when this episode was over.

Last stop, Hickville...err...Louisville, Georgia!

Rylan's Daisy troop had an event while Cilka was here so the whole family loaded up and headed to the corn maze for our semi-annual family fun fest! You remember how well our spring edition went, right?

It started raining just as we arrived and I was less than happy about that (it was an hourlong drive), but it quit after a few minutes. First crisis averted. Corn maze here we come!

(Yep, I had to have Rylan tell me a knock-knock joke to get her to make this "normal" face. I should post her new posed face so you can see what I am talking about.)

Keaton the GAP model -- no, I do not think I am biased.

Branik was ready to go, so Rylan grabbed her brothers and off they went!

Payton was slightly less sure about the rainy corn field, but she totally got into it after the first hour:) Let's just say the first phase took about 10 minutes and was easy to navigate, so we said, "Why not!" when Rylan asked if we could do Phase 2.

Bad, bad idea.

It was WAY more difficult than Phase 1 and took us over an hour to get through it. Payton got hungry and mad, Rylan was sure we were actually lost, Branik demanded to be held, and Keaton kept screaming "Um, excuse me! We see 3 buses!" to the dude perched on the lookout tower.

Anyway, we were all thrilled when we finally made it out and the kids loved getting to ring the bell as they exited the maze.

Our little adventure caused us to lose track of Rylan's troop, so we just did our own thing afterwards...


We (and by "we" I mean "the kids") jumped off of hay bales...

...rode the cow train...

...and bounced on this enormous inflatable pillow. It was truly gigantic -- Boone is estimating 20 by 40 feet. I thought it looked like a broken neck waiting to happen, but everyone seemed okay afterwards.

We had a pretty fun day, especially in retrospect when I can't remember all the little things that made me want to throw myself in front of the corn cob rocket.

Maybe waiting a while to post these things will help me be a little more "Yay!" on my blog. Or maybe I will still be cranky. Anybody want to guess?

Happy. Anniversary.

*WARNING -- MAJOR CHEESE AHEAD*

11 years ago today, my husband kissed me for the very first time. The next day, we set off for what was supposed to be a group trip to Idaho Falls to visit my grandparents. 3 of my roommates and 1 of his were supposed to join us. They bailed at the last minute. He and I decided to go anyway. The first hour or so in the car was quiet, awkward even. But we managed to have a great weekend, and on our drive home -- 2 days later -- we set our wedding date. Seriously.

That was 11 years ago. When I realized what today was, I literally stopped what I was doing in the kitchen and thought about how much we have been through since "Halloween Eve, 1997", and tried to project where we might be 11 years from today.

We will have a senior in high school, a sophomore, and an 8th grader. No more preschoolers, no more poop accidents (this better be true), no more living room scattered with (and I can see these things right now) a Magna Doodle, Toys R' Us catalog, 3 Harold the Helicopters, 5 more Thomas engines, a roll of toilet paper, 14 pieces of train tracks, an empty cup, and a bra. Well, probably the bra still (it's 11:00 pm people -- give me a break).

And while part of me rejoices when I realize these things, another part of me is sad. I don't want to overlook this part of my life, and find myself in 11 years thinking the same thing I thought today: "Man, I don't even remember what life was life back then anymore".

So to cement at least today in my mind and give me a point of reference 11 years from now, this was my day:

Rylan got me up first thing this morning (crying) because she was out of tissues. She went into my bathroom, tore 3 squares of TP at a time to approximate the length of a "real" tissue, and went back to her room. She was horrified when I went in 10 minutes later to have her get dressed, because she was sure it was still the middle of the night, and "she hadn't even slept a wink!"

She ended the day in her bed (crying) because "the inside of her nose hurt". Boone went in to her and literally said "Ooogaa boooga woooga -- your nose is better", to which she replied, "Why don't you send Mom in? She at least tells me something I can actually do!"

If this sounds draining to you, it is. I can't imagine what it must be like to be Rylan. But in between the morning sob fest and the evening sob fest, little Rylan climbed up next to her daddy in the kitchen, buttered the garlic bread for dinner, watched intently (and commented incessantly) as her dad made soup, set the table, and then thanked him for letting her help -- adding with all sincerity, "Anytime you need me to help with something I know how to do, I'll do it Daddy!" And the last words she spoke tonight had to do with my ability to fix what's wrong in her life.

And that won't last.

Keaton spent the day demanding fruit snacks for breakfast, "X-ing" people (this is an entire post by itself -- I'll explain later), wiping his nose on our couch cushions, and generally being 4. He had to visit the doctor for an infected thumbnail that he won't quit chewing on (gross) and pretty much destroyed the shirt he was wearing by reaching his arm through the neck opening and out the bottom until the collar was so stretched that it hung off his shoulder on one side. He upset Rylan (easy to do, but still) because he was trying to "make corn" in the shower by mixing vast quantities of body wash and shampoo (?). And he ended his day yelling at Boone, "Daddy! Is this the star?!" from his bed (which he peed in last night...again), where he laid in the dark, clutching a single glow in the dark ceiling star in his infected little hand.

If this sounds draining to you, it is. I can't imagine what it must be like to be Keaton. But in between the fruit snacks and the "shower corn", Keaton chased imaginary bees around the living room with his Daddy and threw them out the back door. He read Hop on Pop out loud. He pulled pots and pans out for he and his brother and banged drums all over the house. He used one of those drums to make his own ramen for lunch (I supervised, of course). He sat with all the charm a kid can muster in the doctor's office and said to the nurse, "Excuse me Dr? I feel sick at home, but you make me feel better, and I get an extra toy!" He was THRILLED that his blood pressure had the number 7 in it, and gobbled up the soup he previously refused to eat as soon as I pointed out the "butterfly pasta" in it.

And that won't last.

Branik began by consuming 2 glasses of orange juice, then begging for apple juice, so he could wash down the 4 (!) blueberry muffins he ate for breakfast. Branik only eats breakfast these days -- literally, the child has not eaten at lunch or dinner since Tuesday (more on that later). He turned every light in the front half of the house on and off two dozen times at least, unrolled the toilet paper roll (still in the living room -- an attempt to keep Keaton's snot off the furniture), and scattered somewhere around 40 vehicles from one end of the house to the other. He stashed some of the throw pillows from the couch under my bed, and pulled wipe after wipe out of the container just because. When I told him it was time to get dressed, he replied, "It's too heavy!"(?) He woke up after only an hour of nap -- still cranky -- and then threw up all over the Johnson's house while I had Keaton at the doctor. He came home and clung to me the whole night, refusing to let me put him down to help Boone at all, and was such a wreck that he went to bed at 7:15, but not before having a meltdown over Thomas falling off the side of the tub and onto the bathroom floor (tragedy!).

If it sounds draining, it is. I can't imagine what it must be like to be Branik. The poor boy felt awful all day, and when he needed his mommy and felt his yuckiest, I wasn't there and he had to throw up somewhere other than home. But in between the wipes, the muffins, the juice, and the vomit, my littlest buddy wanted nothing in the world more than his mom. He climbed into my lap over and over, and spent his last few minutes tonight laying on my chest like he used to when he was a newborn. All day long when I sat down next to him, he leaned his head over and touched my arm just to be closer. And when I tucked him in tonight, he looked up at me and grinned, and said simply, "Soft". That boy needs nothing in the world except his mommy, his blanket, and breakfast foods.

And that won't last either.

Boone's day began at 5:00 am so he could get to the gym before work. He treated patients all morning, called me to check in at lunch, sat through 2 hours of sexual harassment training, met up with me for Keaton's appointment, swapped cars with me so I could run to the store (for some freaking "real" tissues already!), picked up Branik McPukeface at the Johnson's house (Thanks again guys!/I am SO sorry), picked Rylan up from the neighbor's house, made soup (from scratch) for dinner, did the dishes (including washing all the "drums" from earlier in the day), read with the kids, tucked them in, made his lunch for tomorrow, and finally collapsed on the couch at about 8:30.

If it sounds draining, it is. I can't imagine what it's like to be Boone. But in between his early workout and his raiding of the Halloween candy, he reminded his wife to make an appointment for her hair that is driving her nuts. He raced from a meeting to meet his son at the doctor because he was worried that he might be scared. He waited at the pharmacy for a prescription and then took his 4 year old down to see his work. He cuddled a 2 year old even though that boy only wanted his mother. He taught his emotional girl how to butter loaves of bread, grind pepper into the soup, and tried to cure her nose with "oogaa booga woogaa". He peeked in on his bathing Branik, and grinned when that little boy told him, "I swimming". He sat patiently while Keaton slowly made sense of the words in a book, and held a glow in the dark star up to the light so it would be brighter in that grubby little hand. He thanked me for making an appointment for Keaton, and then helped me put away the laundry so we could make the bed together.

THAT, I believe WILL last.

The details of the day will change, but I am confident that 11 years from now, I will still have a husband whose whole life is dedicated to his family and their wellbeing. I will still have a helpful, tender daughter, a charming imp of a middle child, and (hopefully) a sweetheart of a momma's boy. I hope that occasionally, like today, I will take the time to look beyond the chaos and see how lucky I really am, and realize that no matter what October 30, 1997 was like, today was better.

Vomit, snot, and all.

Guess what I hate...

You know how if your toddler falls asleep in the car for even 10 minutes, their whole nap/bedtime is shot to Hades? Sucks, right?

Yeah, well the same thing happens to adults sometimes, only the car ride is the couch, and the snooze is for 20 minutes, and the time is 9:30 pm.

And now, here I sit. Wide awake at 1:07 am. I actually made it through the SECOND musical act on SNL. I am bored out of my skull, and already mad at how tired I will be all day tomorrow. I may as well mix up 3 or 4 Crystal Light Energy drinks now...

So if you see me tomorrow (or today, since most of you are probably normal enough to be in bed now) know that I am not having an ACTUAL seizure, just a caffeine induced one.

Really, this isn't worth your time...I'm serious...

Yeah, still not feelin' it. I have bloggers block I guess.

Hmmm....what can I say, what can I say...

I had an embarrassingly good dinner last night at Bonefish Grill. I figure I ate about 2500 - 3000 calories over the course of 2.5 hours while surrounded by a fun group of women. There were no children present. In retrospect, maybe it didn't really happen after all?

I lost two pounds last week, but then I finally found this:



So I am calling it break even at this point. Whatever. I did two entire spin classes on Tuesday and I am not one of those people who thinks you can't have a treat every week...or every day...or pretty much whenever you really want one...or just kind of want one...or if you can see one somewhere...or if you can imagine one...

Here's a good rule for you to follow: if your body is sore from a workout you can eat whatever you want until the soreness goes away. Really! I read it once in a medical journal -- and by "medical journal" I mean "Nicole's list of made up things she wishes were true".

I am not a "diet" person. I have never done a fad diet and will never do one. My philosophy is if it is not sustainable long term, I won't even try it. You can tell how well that is working by looking at my derriere (no comments).

Wow. Somehow this has turned into a post about me and my exercise and nutrition habits. How boring is that? I'd delete it if I had something better to say and hadn't spent time uploading that photo of ice cream. Now I am too heavily invested.

How about those gas prices, eh? It's pretty sad when you think a $62 fill up is a bargain.

I already voted and you'll never guess who I picked! Yep, the socialist, radical Muslim, anti "real" America terrorist who loves to kill babies, smoke crack, and take money from plumbers to give to Ahmadinejad at their BFF coming out party (November 5th -- save the date!)

Let's see...I've talked about food. I have self-deprecated. I have made snarky political comments. Keaton hasn't pooped in/on/around anything besides the toilet in weeks, so that's out. Ooh! Ooh! A confession!

My name is Nicole. I love to read. Today, at the age of 29, I finally finished Pride and Prejudice for THE FIRST TIME. I tried to read it last year and just wasn't in the mood I guess, because I quit about 100 pages in. But this time I didn't mind the first part at all, and when I got to the new material, I was hooked. So, to the rest of the world who read it forever ago:

Good book! I liked it a lot and now I won't feel like such an ignorant loser when everybody references Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy! Seriously, this has been a huge embarrassment to me for years, and I am glad to finally throw that weight from my shoulders.

And now it seems I am back to weight, and trying to figure out a way to make fun of Palin and how she can't name a newspaper she reads (but claims to be ready to lead the country -- snort!) but I am coming up short, which means I need to quit and go to bed.

Poor Boone. He has been asking about a new post for a week, and when he reads this, he will probably pat me on the head and say, "Yeah...probably should have just deleted it -- ice cream picture and all..."

Procrastinating again

OK. I have a lot I could write about. We just had a great visit with Boone's sister Cilka and her cutie pie of a baby girl. We had our semi-annual "family fun" experiment at the corn maze last weekend. There have been 2 debates since I last posted. I still have 3 children who say/do RIDICULOUS things.

But for whatever reason (I think it has to do with uploading a bazillion pictures) I just keep putting it off.

My new idea is that I need to start small and ease into the big posts, so here you have it -- me going small. And random.




Don't tell me that's not laugh out loud funny. It is. I don't even have to comment further.

Moving on.

A few posts back I confessed all (most) of my idiot mothering moments. It was therapeutic. I seem to like to beat myself up for all the things I do wrong, but tonight, I am going to tell you what I think may be my single most brilliant mothering technique to date. I know, I know, you are on pins and needles...

So. Rylan is dramatic. She worries. A LOT. About once or twice a week Boone and I hear her after we have tucked her in laying in her bed and crying. Loudly (and usually incoherently). I have a little more empathy in the "sobbing hysterical mess" department than my stable husband, so I task myself to trudge down the hall on these nights.

Tonight the issue at hand was: What we would do if our house caught on fire and the cats were too afraid to come out from under the beds and they died and also is anyone strong enough to carry our (20 gallon) aquarium out so the fish won't die?

Just off the top of my head, some other recent concerns/hysteria producing concepts have been:

• What if the tooth fairy writes me a note saying "next time you should be more careful with your tooth" (after she misplaced -- for the THIRD time -- a baby tooth she'd recently shed...don't even get me started on that story)
• What if we forget to watch the weather one night and a tornado comes while we are sleeping and sucks us all up (okay, that is a somewhat valid concern I guess)
  
• What if Heavenly Father can't understand my prayers because I am crying too hard/have a sore throat/keep coughing
• Why can't we recycle used Kleenex's -- "they are paper, of course"

You get the idea. So after addressing these issues as calmly as I can and trying to give her logical explanations to reassure her, she undoubtedly comes back at me with, "I just can't sleep!"

I tried to tell her just to lay still. I tried to teach her to relax each part of her body from her toes to the top of her head (like my mom used to do). I tried to have her pray herself to sleep. Many, many times she would agree to try these things only to ramp back up 45 minutes later even more frustrated at her failures (and now BEYOND exhausted).

And then one night it happened. My brain produced an idea.

"Wait here Rylan, I'll be right back."

(Scurry into the kitchen, open cabinet we keep medicines in, retrieve small chewable object, scurry back to Ry's room.)

(It's not what you think.)

(This was our conversation the first time I had this idea.)

(Also, I love parenthetical remarks.)

"Chew this up and get a drink of water. It will help you fall asleep."

(Looking at me like I am an idiot)

"Mom, this is a gummy vitamin."

"I know what it is -- I just got it out of the cabinet. It will help you sleep."

"Why would that even work?"

"Because vitamins help your body work the best that it can, and I guess your body just needs extra vitamins to sleep tonight."

(Long pause while she digests the idea....fingers crossed....please, be a 6 year old and just trust me for once...even though I am sort of manipulating you...but it's for your own good....and my sanity....)

"Okay." (Chomp chomp swallow -- YES!!!)

I patted her head, tucked her in again, and seriously, like 2 minutes later, OUT.

I have used the vitamin placebo probably a dozen times since then, and it. works. every. time.

Come on. You can't tell me that isn't pure genius! I rarely toot my own horn, especially in the parenting department, but...

TOOT TOOT.

And you're welcome.

UPDATED! In Case You Missed It

Alaska, maverick, reform, "NUC -U-LAR", corruption, energy, Alaska, Joe 6-pack, again, alsoalsoalsoalsoalsoalsoalsoalsoalsomaverick. The end. Also.

*Updated! Thanks to Emma for sending me this link! Whoever did this is a genius.