Keaton Then and Now

Apparently I am in a story telling mood right now. This one was brought on by my Sunday evening activity of cleaning out my Gmail inbox going back to 2005. I decided to start at my first email and go from there, but found some attachments from way back that just HAVE to be shared.

So there we were -- March 2006 -- living in Texas and finally getting a grip on life with two kids, which would have been a dandy place to be had we not been 2 weeks away from having our third baby. I was enormously pregnant with Branik and generally spending my days in the "please shoot me now" state of being (all you ladies with kids know this feeling). I was in survival mode as far as parenting my older children went -- considering the day successful if they were all alive at the end. Sort of like now, actually.

Anyway, one day Rylan (who had just turned 4) was having a playdate at our home with her friend Kate, and Keaton was toddling around behind them as fast as his 21 month old body could take him (which was quite fast, unfortunately). I was most likely sprawled on the couch feeling sorry for myself/eating while the 3 kids played together. Kate was kind of a stinker and had been begging all morning to take a bath with Rylan. I told them no repeatedly, because who wants to do double bath duty with someone else's kid when they are 35 weeks pregnant? Not me.

Well, Kate knew how to get what she wanted. About 5 minutes later, she came out of Rylan's room and said, "I peed in my panties and it ran all over my legs. I guess I need a bath now!"

She stripped her clothes off with startling speed and was in my bathroom filling the tub in no time. I was beyond caring at that point and waved Rylan in the same direction, instructing her to remember to go potty before she got into the bathtub with Kate. She did, but in all her excitement to have a midday bubble bath with her BFF, she forgot to flush (this part is key).

Once I got the girls squared away, I went back to Rylan's room to clean the carpet where Kate had peed and to get fresh clothes for two 4 year olds. It took me less than 5 minutes, but at about that point, I heard Keaton crying -- and it sounded like he was hurt.

I waddled down the hall towards his voice and this is what I discovered:

What you can't tell from these pictures is that Keaton's shoe was stuck in the "cave" of the toilet and he needed my help to get free. That's why HE was crying. His mother, on the other hand, was crying because that child was SOAKING WET with toilet water and his sister's urine, had unrolled the entire roll of TP into and around the toilet, and then flung soggy wads of pee paper all over the walls of the toilet room.

So I did what any rational mother would do: I grabbed the camera, took photographic evidence, started bathing a third child, and prayed that Keaton wouldn't teach his new baby brother any of his tricks. Had I known that Keaton's "fun with bodily waste" would eventually reach new levels, I'd probably have passed out on the spot.

Fast forward to Thursday night (as in 3 days ago).

I was heading to bed and wandered down the hall to peek in on my sleeping kiddos like I always do. Everything was cool, but I caught sight of a new picture outside Keaton's doorway and flipped the light on for a better look. This friendly little note is what I found (go ahead and click on it so you can see better):

(Here is a direct transcription -- punctuation and all.)

"do. NOt. Go. iN. My. ROOM.?. I Said do NOt Go iN." Awww, how precious!

And then just so we're all on the same page, he drew a diagram with a quiz.

Q: Stick figure standing next to a door (I assume this is anyone reading his notice) -- "Good. or. Not. Good" ?

A: (Reader trying to enter) = "Not Good."

This is what I get for teaching him how to read and write at an early age. I can't wait to see what kinds of things prompt me to grab my camera another 4 years from now. Heaven help me.

P.S. JustMe: school update coming soon -- just need to get to the back computer for Branik's pictures too.