Girl, Interrupter

I have a terrible habit that I need to work on, and if you have ever had the distinct pleasure of being near me for longer than 3 minutes you most likely already know about it. I identified this problem years ago, but try as I might, I just can't seem to knock it off.

I am a chronic interrupter.

And I really hate it. I can be in the middle of a conversation (and I use the term loosely here -- seeing as "conversing" involves two people SHARING ideas) having just finished what was certainly a witty tidbit -- and before your idea is all the way born I get this little tickle in my brain. It's like when you know a cough is coming at a really inappropriate time so you try to stifle it, and you make that little throat-clearing noise that never relieves anything, so you just end up making more noise because you were trying to avoid the real cough. Anyway, that's me when you are talking. My brain needs to cough, and I try so hard to stifle it so as to be.........what's the word?.....oh yes, POLITE. But time and time again I fail! I get the tickle, the words start forming in my head, and I tell myself, "Nicole, don't do it! You can wait! Let them finish the sentence!" But then that other side of me says, "Don't wait! The moment will pass! If you say it now they will see that both of you were thinking the same thing at the same time! Say it! SAY IT NOW!" And out comes the big nasty cough/comment. I am momentarily relieved of pressure, but also totally mortified that I couldn't keep it in a little longer.

It's not that I don't value you or what you are saying (unless you are Rush Limbaugh or Nancy Grace) -- on the contrary -- it's usually that I am so desperate to point out our similarities that I can't wait to prove to you how compatible we are! Really, I think a big part of it stems from the fact that I spend 94% of my day with children 6 and under, and I get so excited when an adult wants to exchange ideas and words that I trip all over myself trying to get every thought that occurred to me in June out in 7 minutes.

And so, I interrupt. I even interrupt myself while writing (note excessive use of parenthetical remarks)(yep, just like this). What's the deal with that? Like I can't wait for another sentence to say what it is that I am thinking about? Like I really have such important things to comment on? Nope, not so much.

There seems to be some link here to the way I eat as well -- quickly, usually in excess, and without pause. Seriously, I am the first person done eating almost every time. It doesn't matter if I got my food last, or if I heaped my plate much higher than you did, or if you are a ravenous hyena -- I will beat you. I find myself looking up when I am finished, taking a second to inhale, and realizing everyone else is maybe halfway through the meal. "What's taking you so long?", I wonder.

Boone has observed this countless times over the last 10 years and finally asked me one day to do a little experiment: "Try swallowing all your food before you put another bite in", he said, "you know -- so your mouth is actually empty for a second." So I rolled my eyes (standard procedure), put a forkful of food in my mouth, chewed it up, and swallowed.

I have never had anything feel so unnatural in my life. It took an embarrassing amount of concentration to accomplish this feat of emptying my mouth of food in between bites. I'm certain the food expired before I had the chance to eat it all, and I quickly went back to my old method.

As I am writing this, the link is occurring to me: this is really my interrupting problem in reverse! I just can't get it all in fast enough, but in my haste I end up missing things like flavor and oxygen while everyone else is truly enjoying the meal/conversation.

Sigh.

I am hoping that there is some 12-step program to remedy this annoying habit and that by admitting I have a problem I have already completed the first step (you know, so I can hurry on to the next ones). In the meantime, please accept my apology and know that I am really trying to work on it. If you sense during a conversation that I am getting a brain tickle, just cram a Ricola down my throat. On second thought, put a bowl of them in front of me -- that'll keep me busy enough for you to finish your sentence.