I have a request for whoever controls our weight (Satan) -- I think that we should get bonus points whenever we are in a particularly tempting food situation and we control ourselves.
For example, it's really not terribly impressive for you to behave well nutritionally when you are home and (sometimes) junk is not readily available. Unless you are all PMS-y -- in which case -- 10 points to you (and anyone who lives with you) just for surviving life for those 3 to 7 days.
But what about those times you arrive at someone's house and they hand you a huge piece of cake and you politely decline? Or when someone brings donuts into work and you don't have any? Or the biggest test of all, if you are out at a Girl's Night and everyone else orders dessert (you know, because none of us get "caught" if we all do it, right?) and you just ask for another water with lemon*?
If life was fair in any way, shape, or form, we would totally get extra credit for times like those. And we would have the option to either A) immediately deduct 1000 or so calories from our bodies, B) save our credit to negate the times we cave and pig out, or C) magically tack the calories we avoided onto someone who looks better than us in a swimsuit.
This is my proposal. Now all I need is a meeting with Satan (which is probably already scheduled due to my behavior in Chinatown)...
*I'd quit ordering any drinks with lemon at restaurants if I were you -- those things are crawling with fecal matter. You've been warned.
2 comments:
Maybe you haven't heard my theory on how everything you eat is technically a vegetable. For instance...where does chocolate come from?....the cocoa bean!!! Beans are vegetables. There you go....problem solved.
I am for your theory and ready for it now. I have eaten half of the cookie dough I made today, and this was after my therapy session. I need another session, and maybe another raw cookie.
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