School's Out!

Well, I can hardly believe it but Rylan is done with Kindergarten! She had a really cute graduation and program at her school on Monday which Boone and I were both able to attend. Of course, she stole the show with her brilliant recitation of "Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" (okay, a portion of it), followed by a rousing rendition of "First Grade, First Grade" sung to the tune of "New York, New York". Being a former theater geek and current attention hog myself, I was totally giddy watching one of my offspring hamming it up on stage. I spent the whole program thinking, "Yep, that's my kid up there!"

That is, until the festivities ended and the parents were invited to take their children home with them for an early release day. Yippee, right? Yeah, that's what I thought too. Read on.

I knew that taking Ry home was an option beforehand, and so, having the boys off at a playdate (to avoid what surely would have been a total disaster at the school), I planned to take her out to lunch with me and then to the mall so she could pick out a new dress. I was really looking forward to our surprise Mommy/Daughter date, so you can imagine my horror when my proposal initiated this exchange:

Rylan (looking confused): "Can I just stay at school instead?"

Me (thinking she must not have heard me correctly): "Don't you want to go to lunch? Just you and me? And then we can go to the mall and buy a new dress for you!"

Mrs. Copeland -- (her teacher) (from Alabama): "RAH-linn, don't you wanna go with yer Momma to luuwnch and out shoppin'? There's not but three of us gonna be here at the skewl darlin'!"

Rylan (either considering her options or trying to translate what her teacher just said into English): "Um, I think I want to stay here, if it's okay with you, Mom"

Me: "Ry, you are ALLOWED to go -- most kids are going home -- (grabbing her hand) Let's go eat and go shopping!"

Ry (now looking at me like I am retarded): "Mom, I want to stay at school and ride the bus home at 3:30"

Ummm, WHAT? Are you freaking kidding me?!? My daughter would rather stay at school with the kids whose parents didn't show up for graduation then go shopping and out to lunch? I've known forever that she looks exactly like her dad, but this episode left me thoroughly convinced that there is absolutely NONE of my DNA floating around in her body. I missed over 60 days of school my senior year (a lot of that was due to Mono and then an unfortunate meeting between my head and a weight machine at the YMCA) and never EVER turned down the chance to skip school to eat and spend money!

So, feeling totally stunned and rejected and a little self conscious about what the teacher might be thinking ("Hmmm, how bad is Rylan's home life if she would rather stay here than go with her mom?"), I left Little Miss Teacher's Pet at school and went, by myself, to the mall -- thinking the whole time, "That is SO not my kid..."


So, after soothing myself at Ann Taylor Loft, I came to the realization that even if Boone somehow changed the laws of human reproduction and cloned himself in female form (which he could probably do if he was bored enough) and I was nothing but a human incubator for 9 months (it's really closer to 10 months, but that's another post), I love that little twerp to pieces! Boone and I are as proud as parents can be of our big girl, and we know she'll do great things in First Grade! Love you, Ry!